Modern Art: Let Retards Pretend They Have Talent

A four meter high bronze pole, with a sparow-sized model of a bird on it. How much would you pay for that...? A hundred pounds, three hundred at a push? Bronze isn't the most precious of metals is it, really.

So why in the name of sweet jesus and all that is fucking good and right does Tracey "oooh so provocative" Emin get paid £60,000 to make this...

...yeah that's right, that tiny little turd of a thing on that massive pole is her "art", and represents "strength and femininity". Strength, you could smash someones head in with the big pole if you were strong enough to wield it around. Femininity, Tracey Emin is the only female I would feel comfortable beating to death with a four meter long piece of bronze. I'm pretty fucking good at this interpretation of art shite.

This makes me so angry I want to hurt people for two reasons:

i) This is not art. This is not anything. This is a fucking timewaster who has convinced people who discuss the finer points of wine that she has a talent, and gets paid for it. It's just another one of those things that has been discussed for too long, when all that needs to be said about this stupid fucking woman is...she's a fucking timewaster with no skills, knowledge, creative vision and there is nothing she could say that would ever interest me except "I'm dying". Now let's go to the pub, get drunk, pull that ridiculous fucking thing down and slam it into the bitches skull. We can get pizza on the way.

ii) We paid for it.

I'm sick of this bullshit being allowed to even exist, let alone be discussed without mocking laughter playing an integral role. Art critics should be writing reviews of this work that read...

Tracey Emin: The Roman Standard
- review by Dave McArtcritic

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
aaaahahahahahahhahhahahahahahahahahahahaaahawhatacunt.

...and that should be that. No more discussion, no more "ooh what direction does this set modern art?" or "what does this say to you, is it too provocative?" if you even considered this as a worthwhile piece of creativity you are a fucking idiot, and I'm coming after you with that bronze pole once I've caved Emin's smug fucking skull in you bunch of fucking timewasters.